Even the happiest couples disagree sometimes, but if your disagreements frequently turn into full-blown arguments, it might be time to seek professional support. Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Yet, communicating with patience and kindness when emotions are running high doesn’t always come naturally.
It takes time and practice to approach difficult conversations with a level head. A couples counselor can help you and your partner improve your communication skills. In couples counseling, you and your partner can work together to become better communicators and strengthen your connection.
Here are a few ways that you and your partner can learn and grow through couples counseling.
Learning to Express Yourself
Do you ever find yourself holding back when your partner expects you to open up? For example, if you never felt safe or comfortable expressing yourself in previous relationships, you might be very guarded. Or perhaps your partner tends to bury their feelings when you wish they would allow themselves to be vulnerable.
During couples counseling sessions, you’ll both learn how to reassure the other that it is safe to say what they’re truly feeling. You’ll also work towards building trust, so honest discussions become easier.
Staying Calm and Composed
You’re feeling angry or upset, and you want to be honest with your partner without being too harsh. But when you try to say what’s on your mind, you can’t help but raise your voice, and later, you feel guilty for the way you acted.
In couples counseling, you can practice expressing yourself authentically without saying things you might regret later. It can be hard to keep your emotions in check when you’re feeling hurt, and maybe your partner has trouble with the same issue. But over time, you’ll both learn to express yourself calmly in discussions.
Understand Your Partner’s Perspective
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can be challenging. Maybe you feel like your partner never really understands the problems from your perspective. Or perhaps you have trouble seeing things through your partner’s eyes, and you wish that you could gain a deeper understanding of their point of view.
In couples counseling, you will both learn how to step into your partner’s perspective. When you can step outside of your own perspective and understand how they are really feeling, solving problems together becomes easier.
Becoming a Better Listener
In the midst of a conversation, it can be hard to resist speaking up with your opinion at every opportunity. But, perhaps you often catch yourself interrupting your partner. Or maybe you feel like they’re always talking over you, and you can barely get a word in edgewise. Many people worry about becoming better conversationalists, but sometimes, we overlook the importance of becoming better listeners.
Couples counseling will give you both the opportunity to improve your listening skills. Together, you’ll learn to give each other the space to say what needs to be said, without talking over each other.
Attack the Problem – Not Each Other
When you’re facing a problem as a couple, it can be tempting for one partner to place blame on the other. But in couples counseling, you’ll learn to face problems together rather than being combative towards each other.
By taking on problems as a team, you will grow closer together and avoid bickering. Using a cooperative approach to problem-solving is the key to a happy, long-lasting relationship. Couples counseling will teach you to focus your energy on solving problems as a single unit.
